So, Jen asks me to write this blog post a few days ago, and I put it off. I think, I am not going to get to that. Too much going on right now, ya know.
And then it hits. Right now. I have 5 minutes and I am here and focused and I am going to write this blog.
And what I want to write is that working on IN LESS THAN A DAY is hard...but not for a reason that was first obvious to me.
I think the reason it is hard for me is because just getting to a rehearsal is hard; biking, sweating, and coming from appointments and random gigs and getting weird text messages and trying to deal with my own anxiety about this month's rent or next year's goal and when I come to these rehearsals I am a little spent, a little frazzled, to say the least. And then we start. The rehearsal. And we chat a bit. We check in, about our days, what not. I never really say that I am spent, or frazzled. I put on the social mask: "I am here to work! Take me seriously!" And writing that now, I can chuckle at myself, but in the act of it I feel fake. I feel fake a lot of the time. And I just mean fake, like, I don't really know what I am supposed to be doing most of the time. And I feel like I can make some huge mistakes and hurt people I care about and waste a lot of time in my life.
And then an actor begins to speak somebody's real story. And I stop worrying about how fake I am. And I, by the grace of Something, really start to listen. And it is this act of Listening - as truly and completely as I possibly can - that I begin to become better and I begin to stop feeling sorry for myself and I begin to think about somebody else's situation. Somebody else's struggle. Somebody else's tale. And I can literally feel my heart stretching. Stretching more open. More reaching and more caring. I am not perfect, none of us are. And that is ok. We each struggle and we each have a story to tell. And quite frankly, I am healed a little each time I listen instead of demand that I speak.------------------
IN LESS THAN A DAY is presented for one night only: Monday, June 25th at 7:00pm at Center on Halsted's Hoover Leppen Theatre. Seats are filling quickly, so be sure to get your tickets today.